COMMITTED

I am blessed with a partner who is always curious. Asking a lot questions in random moments which leaves me speechless or disoriented with words. As we all know I am more articulate in writing than in spoken words. He often asks questions like, “How was your life different from last year when you haven’t met me?” or “What was your regular days like before me?”

I couldn’t express how incredibly different life has been since I met him. I was certain that my intentions in coming to Dubai was never to find someone. That was the least of my priorities. Sure I was heartbroken. But there was no urgency of finding. When I landed to Dubai I only want one thing: A Career. But I got bored one day. I went online. We became friends. His place is across mine. Why not meet half-way? And so we did.

There are meetings that make you feel anxious on how you will behave or what you will say. Meetings that breaks your rib cage. Elation. Thrill. Explosion. It was nothing like that. It was pure composure and amusement. The excitement level is that of two friends meeting each other again after a long time. Like crossing the street and finding a familiar face that makes your heart swell of gladness. Like I have been there in his rooftop several times and we were just catching up for the lost time.

These moments are magical in a way that like any other moments, it passes by. So you have to capture it and make it grow. We tried our very best to grow that friendship. And I think more than me, he was more persistent in nourishing that friendship. He built that foundation firmly. Otherwise, having been inexperienced and being so timid in relationships, we would have not gotten this far. And because I saw that perseverance in him, it made me resilient to go against the odds of whatever or whoever it is that breaks us.

It was never easy of course. Many a times we tried to cut it because it felt suffocating or intoxicating or burdensome. Cultural differences, language barrier, communication problems, religion, standards, beliefs, norms, environment, families, our own idiosyncrasies and insecurities. The list is never ending.

And yet here we are about to embark on a different journey together. Why? It’s not just Love. It’s tenacity. It’s Choice. Our willingness to stay together even in days when we don’t feel like loving each other. Emotions fluctuate. And when that happens, you make a decision. You choose to stop or to go on. And I am choosing him everyday over my doubts, over my fears, over my pride, over my insecurities, over my hurts. And he does the same to me. We choose the people we love everyday over the million blaring, raging, resounding things that draws us apart. I don’t know how things will be like, a month or years from now. But one thing is for sure. I don’t want to be part of that dreadful statistics of separation and divorces.

I want us to be one of those old couples holding hands on the streets – still happy and grounded. I want us to make a great history together. Like a human illustration of hope that unfailing love exist. That God is not about race or religion. That despite differences of culture and color, rituals and traditions, faith and beliefs, couples like us are blessed the same way as others.

 

For a lot of generations, I don’t think people necessarily went out there in the world and looked for a soulmate.  I think they made one. I think you become soul mate for the person you live with over decades. All the experiences that you share together, the triumphs and the tragedies and the heartbreaks and disappointments and the endurance. All of these makes that person the other half of your apple. And I think the mistake that a lot of young women particularly is thinking that somebody should sort of just rise out of a clam shell fully formed and perfectly match you. And the more realistic version of marriage is that you build that together every time.

Photo Credit: The Mind Unleashed

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SNOOZE

I have been putting my life on hold for some time now. There has always been voices in my head that drags me out of bed every morning. They always make an effort to jump start my  lazy bones. In fact they work for a good few hours and then I will lose them again. And it scares the hell out of me that I will end up like this for the rest of my life. Bumming. Snoozing. Procastinating. Contemplating. None of this makes me a better person. If I don’t get my act together I will stay in this corporate world forever. And it’s an apocalypse out here. I need a way out.

Procrastinating is a bitch. It looks good on the outside and a monster in the inside. The moment you feel like it’s crawling towards you, run! Move forward. Always move forward. Create a game plan. A device. A strategy. Be creative. You’ve got to knock it dead before it devours you. I know. It’s never easy. It’s always easier to allow something to eat your brains. Television. Social Media. Clubs. Video games. Food. Sleep.

I want productivity. I want self-fulfillment. I want independence and financial freedom. I want progress in my career. I want good money, good health and good life. I want businesses all over the place and enormous investments. I want a money making machine.  I want an empire.

And I take responsibility to this evolving decay that has been plaguing me. I shouldn’t be putting my life on hold. I should be doing something different. Something drastic. Something that scares me. Something big. Something that works.

Maybe I am not fighting a good fight that’s why I end up in the dumps, losing. It’s not about bringing your game face and some attitude. You have got to be bold and brave with your dreams. Most importantly you need to be dedicated. Strength comes naturally with practice. Work on your footwork and grow some muscles. Punches must be accurate. It’s mixed martial arts all together to get where you want to be.

Great opportunities, astounding possibilities and that stroke of luck which remains a mystery to the majority, it’s out there.

And it only comes to people who has a game plan.

People who make the right choices as early as 7 am.

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